I guess I spoke too soon when I thought I could blog once a week, turns out I can only blog or even write anything when the hands allow!
Before my diagnosis I used to feel pretty run down as if I had a virus or fighting something at least 2 or 3 days a week, then when I felt ok I would run around trying to play catch up or all those things I wanted or needed to get done.
We all have them: the TO DO list that never quite finishes because you rewrite it with all the things you did not have time to complete and add more on!
Sound familiar! Well apparently my previous behaviour was predictable but makes it worse. It seems I have been suffering for many years but did not know what it was! So we solider on!
So since starting the medication to help you sleep deeper and have less aches and pains, less fatigue, does not always work for any medication to work it has to produce a change in the body, unfortunately some of these changes come with unpleasant side effects.
So when you are having a good day, you have no idea how much is too much until it’s too late!
Lately my left arm has been suddenly going numb not good when your ! Fibromyalgia is not just a physical pain but emotionally it is draining and very frustrating. It is the unpredictability of it.
I feel I can’t make plans anymore as I will probably need to alter or cancel them. I know I have lost the use of my left-hand so it has affected my confidence in my independence. I feel I can no longer just jump into the car, go shopping, pop out for an errand or a drive as my left arm and leg misbehaves when they feel like it.
My husband has been fantastic and even purchased a fancy adjustable walking stick for me! problem is I do not feel safe anymore, I do not trust my body to do what I want it to do. It is that loss of control that can knock you down quite quickly.
Today I thought I was having a reasonably good day, even managed to start spring cleaning one room, typical me I chose the one room with all the china, the glass, the crystal and yeah even polished the silver. Yes it was the dining room, still I broke the back of it before having to have 30 minutes on the cyclo-massage table to work out the aches and pains.
Still having a good day, until the postman arrives, I think that is one job I could not do, you are either bringing junk mail, a bit of cheer or what happened to me today what I call government junk! Yes you guessed more forms to fill in. My hands started to throb at the thought of it!
Still I came across a website and blog http://www.ButyouDontlookSick.com and Christine Miserandino with her spoon theory. Christine suffers from Lupus and it was her way of describing to her friend how living with lupus affected her daily living. http://bit.ly/cPitsM is the link. To me is described how I was dealing with chronic fatigue and pain.
As the stiffness and pain increases whilst typing this blog, it is something I will be looking into.
Well my writing timer has told me I have sat down for too long, its time to move before my joints seize completely. I hope you enjoy my journey as I learn to deal that Fibromyalgia has to learn to live with me and not dictate who I am. Thanks for reading, till next time, love to hear from you.